Saving the World through Cupcake Fart

 For the past five days, I have been enjoying and making the most out of my holiday! I am not flying home this year but hopefully I will get to in a few months. Some of my friends have already gone back to their own places and even my friend Esther, whom I have been spending quite a lot of time with, should also be on the plane now on her way to Hong Kong.

I have not written about my pending decision for next year but to sum it up, I have yet to find out myself whether I am staying in Brisbane or moving to Melbourne.

Somehow, on the way home from sending Esther to the airport, it just crossed my mind that if I am not meant to stay, then maybe this break will be a good time for me to slip away. The less people there are around me, the less immediate sense of attachment I feel.

Goodbyes will most likely be done through messages as well and we could type and delete and type and delete until we are sure of our words. There will be no stutter and hesitation. No sighs and pats. Only letters and spaces filling in the distance that grows bigger by the moment.

But it should be enough. Enough to remind myself that it was worth it to stop over and it will be worth it to start over. 

E as in Eagle

They told me that when I left, you cried in that place I call home. Well, they didn't actually say where but where else would you? To you, I am tied to the pillows and plastic containers you fix for me every morning. I am the question, disguised in a statement, begging for stories of your days in your home and other people's homes you've been in. I am the quiet hush of the wind calming you down when you think you failed to meet people's expectations. I am the hand helping when there are burdens to carry. I am the catalogue of things you like not hesitating to treat you ice cream if money is at hand. I am the adventurer bringing you along to grocery stores and fruit shake stands filled with the confidence that we always return alive.

I am the forgetful who will ask where this and that are. I am the messy who will leave the bed unmade in whatever time of the day she wakes up. I am the hungry who will go down the stairs to take food from the pantry every five minutes or so. I am the lazy who will not care so much about cleaning her stained clothes herself. I am the adventurer who set out on a journey away from home unsure if after time, home will still be home.

130513

130513--10:58

I had always been myopic

but today oh today

I am looking far ahead.